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Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Only In My Dreams

Growing up, my mother had a policy of not letting us tell our dreams.  Although I've not attempted to regale her with any in a few decades, we'll see if she reads this post.  I however, love hearing the kids' dreams and am fascinated by my own.  It is like going to your own little show every night.  What fun! Usually.  I used to fly in my dreams lots.  I noticed that often stopped when I was pregnant.  I would fret to the Mister that I was even too big to fly subconsciously.

So this blog post discusses a dream or two.  And not the aspirational kind.  If you are like my mother, feel free to skip this and know I'll be onto another subject in a few days.

Just like in the movies, last night I woke from a nightmare gasping, sitting straight up.  (Only I wasn't in full makeup, cashmere jammies, casually tousled hair and a flattering soft light.  In fact I had a ratty ponytail and a face smeared with a combination of Clearasil and various Olay wrinkle potions.  And no, my blog is not sponsored by either.  Yet.)

In my dream the children and I were on a bus on the way to school.  I looked at Big Brother and realized he was wearing feet pyjamas under his school coat.  I asked him if he'd even showered.  He claimed to have but I knew pjs wouldn't fly with the Head Teacher. And up to this point, this is entirely possible in real life.  Big Brother would gladly go to school this comfy.  It is nearly miraculous that he wears a tie every day. So this part could absolutely happen to me.  It is the next bit that woke me in fear.  In the dream I told the boys we'd have to hop off the bus, go home, and get Big Brother changed.  We quickly got off at the next stop with Baby Sister on my hip.  I turned around to gather the boys and cross the street for the return stop, only to discover Big Sister was still on the bus.  As it drove out of sight into the darkness.

I know why I dreamed it. Yesterday was a strange day of lots of odd comings and goings.  The big kids all went in different directions after school while Baby Sister slept in the stroller.  Biggest Brother came back late from a field trip, Big Brother went to Holy Communion class, and Big Sister went to a friend's to practice for the talent show.  For about 3 hours, there was lots of crossing busy London streets and checking my watch being sure I was in the right place at the right time, dropping off and gathering children.

Later I dreamed my landlord was hosting a party in our flat.  And changing my decor.  That creates in me my own special fright, but not enough to awaken me. It is so pitifully obvious what my subconscious is busy working through:  keeping track of my children on city streets, paying attention to one at the peril of another, and being a good hostess.  In that order.  I am not complicated.  Even in my sleep.

In terms of aspirational dreams though, I've started down that path.  I have begun to put out feelers for creating and installing store window displays.  I cannot imagine living in a better place to learn the trade and am hopeful that my immigration status (dependant visa) prohibiting me from earning money will make my insistence on volunteering a plus.  My ultimate goal would be even holding the staple gun for a designer creating a window at Selfridges.  The commute would be super.

Today is just the kind everyone envisions for London winter.  Grey, dark and wet.  A good day to take Baby Sister back under my covers after lunch and lure her into a long nap in my arms.  Filled with sweet dreams.

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